YOU and me

After being away for some time,
after being asked so many times "why don't you update your blog?",
after being up and down for the past few weeks,
now I'm back, but just for a moment.

Why am I here now?
Perhaps it's the time to ask myself,
"Am I alright? Am I okay?"
Nah.. I'm not sure..

Under the progress of learning and trying to be better.
Ya, in fact I am into that.
I'm trying to be strong at times,
but it's not as easy.
I'm trying to be happy at times,
but it's not the true happiness.

I'm so fed up.. Because of YOU!!!
I'm trying to get closer to you,
trying to understand you,
trying to love you,
trying to have you even when I'm sleeping!
But, you gave me nightmares!!!!
Some more I skipped my whole day class, all because of YOU!!!
And because of you, the appetite is increasing, but the weight is losing,
which is a good thing!! (Hyperthyroidism??! I don't want that!)
What should I do to hold you firmly in my hands??
I asked around, but there's no a definite answer.
Even an Honour student could have said that YOU are hard to handle!
What about me?
Alright, no more comparison.
As Jay Chou said, "跟自己斗，不要跟别人斗！"
Most of the times, I strayed from the right path.
And I appreciate those who kept pulling me back to go onto the right track.
I learnt as I lost.
And yes, it's a learning experience kind of thingy.
The more you fall, the more you gain.
You'll never learn without going through the pain.
I'm still learning. I'm tired. Both mentally and physically.
I need a rest. I need recovery. I need supports.
Pharmacy, in fact is a professional course which is not as easy as what you think.
I could accept the fact after all. I've been fooled. Totally.

The 21st doesn't mean much to me.
I thought of giving myself a better start but..
again I fell.. Nevermind, I'll try again.
Anyway, 1 month more to go.
All the best!

Yvonne
9.05 pm
13th October 2008